Self disappointment
Feeling disappointed in yourself is uncomfortable. Sadness and guilt tend to come up when you feel disappointment in yourself. We all have many expectations we hold of ourselves: how we should act, feel, and think, what we should do with our time and energy, what abilities and traits we should have, and so on.
Most people have a fear of
disappointing others, but the trickiest situation of all (in my opinion) is
when we disappoint ourselves.
Disappointing
yourself can make you question your ambitions, your self-worth, and your abilities. It can make
you feel both queasy and uneasy, like being stuck at the top of a roller
coaster or eating that leftover sushi you definitely should have thrown out
days ago.
Maybe
it’s because only we know our true potential—and not living up to it invites
unpleasant emotions like shame and fear and guilt to the party. Or, maybe it's
because we know we're the only ones who can free ourselves from the sinking
feeling—and it's a daunting task.
The good news: There’s a tool that can help us when we’re
clinging to disappointment. It’s called self-compassion.
Research shows that “people who have
higher levels of self-compassion tend to handle stress better—they have less of
a physical stress response when they are stuck in traffic, have an argument
with their spouse, or don’t get that job offer—and they spend less time
reactivating stressful events by dwelling on them,” writes Carrie Dennett in The Washington Post.
Here’s
how to pick up and move out of “I’ve let myself down” land after disappointing
yourself.
1. Accept What Happened
2. Treat Yourself Like a Friend—Not a
Frenemy
3. Recognize Your Big Expectations
4. Distract Yourself (in a Healthy
Way)
5. Ask Yourself the Right Questions
6. Adjust for Next Time (and the Time
After That)
7. Realize This Is All Just Because
You Care
Inspired by Yolandi Riekert
- One of the strongest caring people I know as we became friends like thru whatsup lief jou my maatjie en jy weet ek is altyd hier vir jou !!
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